Just one

My mom sent me this quote from Edward Everett Hale

"I am only one
But I am one
I cannot do everything
But I can do something
And I will not let what I cannot do
interfere with what
I can do."

Because I am one.

Today was a little less productive than I hoped, but I was so happy to see about 8 of my former students show up at McDonalds in Festus Missouri while I was working on the internet.  Freddie S., Jordan A, Josie R., Gabby, Reagan A., and Nathan C, were all there.  So awesome!  I was really happy to see them and see their smiles. 

I did work out first thing today and it felt really good!  I loved it.  30 minutes on the elliptical machine plus 10 minutes or so working on my arms and abs with the weight machines.  When I finished I talked to John C. for a while and also saw Gretchen D.  Jessica S. and Karen also greeted me like always very supportively and with enthusiasm. 

After my work out I headed back to my apartment to find Bud waiting outside for his wife to finish work for Brad and Phyllis.  Bud and I talked for a long time about faith, work, and people.  It was great.  I am so blessed and I know God loves me.  Every day I am encouraged by the smiles of others. 

So anyway, as I sit here in the cold updating everything except my applications and resumes, I am reminded that I am just one and I shouldn't take on so many things.  I need to focus on the important things...getting a job and getting healthy.  These should be my priorities. 

And in this corner at 350 pounds....

If only I was a prize fighter. 350 pounds wouldn't be so bad. I mean a prize fighter wears it in muscle, sinews and iron corded tendons. Mine is all in the bread basket. In fact, I have noticed that when I wear a button up shirt, my gut hangs slightly to one side. Peculiar! It isn't a pretty sight bare. I will spare you the details but I intend to lose it.

Here's the plan:
1. Start making a menu. I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I saw Connie doing it and I really think if I do that, I might get back on track. I hope Julia Werner helps me with that. I need to call and make an appointment.

2. Exercise. "Just go. I've got to go." I told my counselor earlier this week. So far, I no go. Plbpb! That is a sure way to fail. For me it is mostly a matter of finding the right time to go and making it happen. My favorite activities at the Y are the elliptical climber for 20 minutes, swimming for 30 minutes, treadmill for 10 minutes and walking or hiking for 30 minutes. I have also learned to enjoy dancing with my DASK friends. Short bursts equaling 10 minutes for the most part, but I am definitely interested in increasing that.

3. Get fruity. I mean if I don't start eating fruit again, I might as well carry around 350 pounds of lard. I don't know why I haven't been eating that stuff. I like it. Vegetables too. Mmmm. So why don't I eat more of them?

4. Recipes. Honestly, I don't really have time to cook. But if I am ever going to really consider a second career in culinary arts, well I better take this recipe thing a bit more seriously. Oh and getting some decent kitchenware. Rusted tea kettles, misshapen spatulas and dull knives just aren't going to cut it anymore. Literally.

5. Time Out. I tend to eat less when I am not at home. It goes against everything I have argued with my ex-wife about, but time away from the apartment might do me some good. Being around others might make me think less about eating and more about smiling.

6. Eat less, but pray and love a lot more. This is absolutely necessary. God is the only one who can carry me through this. Though I'd love to have a few NFL cheerleaders help me out, I have far better chances getting God to do it.

Introduction

Dum Spiro Spero
While I breathe, I hope






I

found this Latin phrase on the internet a few years ago. It’s the state motto for one of the 50 states in the US. When I stumbled on it, I thought immediately of my ex-wife Tammy. She loves the line from Ever After Drew says as she first arrives at the gala ball; “Just breathe.” I love the line, actress and movie too, but I really like this motto.

With every breath I take, I hope many things. These are the things I hope the most.

I hope for smiles and happiness of my students. Nothing warms my heart more than the smile of a child. I love seeing the fascination, discovery, wonder and thrill in the faces of the kids I teach. Even when I taught high school students, the expressions I remember most are the smiles of love, life and learning that awaken the youthful adventurous spirit in me.

I hope for wisdom and knowledge. I hunger for knowledge and revere true wisdom. Though not all my decisions are wise, I know that everything I learn and every discovery I make expands my knowledge base and experience base. I love the process of thinking and love listening to, if not participating in, a good conversation.

I hope for peace. We all have too much pain and strife. Stress is an element in every person’s life. War, distress, and hate are things that aggravate the normal tension of just living and breathing. Though we all can’t be fawn resting in a glade beside a sparkling stream, being at peace with the world can bring us closer to that calm soothing state.

There can be no peace without faith and salvation so I hope for these as well. The love of God, the realization of heaven, and the freedom of salvation are all mine. I only hope my loved ones find it too. For me these things are not hoped for, they are a reality, since October 13, 1988.

I hope for love. Love is the single most powerful experience any human can have. We experience love in different degrees and intensities but I hope always to build loving relationships with those around me. I hope all those that know me feel and experience love. Though I know not everybody will always love me, I can always take my favorite Bible verse seriously 1 Corinthians 16:13-14. Be on your guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be strong, be men of courage. Do everything in love.

I hope for health. Mine isn’t good. It hasn’t been for a very long time. Long before I graduated from high school, I put others before me. I have learned to take care of myself in many ways, but one way I still have to learn, is to take care of my health. Tammy has awakened in me a desire to heal and a will to protect my health. Though I have a lot to do and a lot to learn, I am now learning to take care of my body the way God intended. I also have many family members and loved ones who suffer from different health conditions. I hope for them and myself better health.

I hope for happiness. Happiness is a feeling of contentment with life the way it is. Happiness exists when we realize our gifts and blessings despite our poverty, humility, or failure. Success, riches, and popularity cannot make us happy. Only appreciation for God’s blessings can bring true happiness. I don’t want to sound pious here so I add that happiness brings around that smile that always warms my heart and moves the spirit of every living thing that witnesses true serenity.

I hope for beauty. I love beautiful things. All beautiful things give me pause to reflect and appreciate the wonder and power of shape, form and motion. As an artist I appreciate these things. Sometimes I am good at capturing beauty. I am always good at appreciating it. I can find beauty in every vision given the time to experience it. I hope that my eye for beauty continues to be content, and I hope all people can learn to appreciate beauty in every shape, form and movement it takes. Beautiful people, beautiful places, and beautiful animals fascinate me most. The most impressive beauty transcends physical appearance. Beauty is enhanced by character and attitude.

I hope for many things. I know that as I continue to breathe I will hope for many more things and that no matter how long I breathe, hope will keep my spirit alive. I hope I inspire all to breathe a little longer and hope always for everything that seems important.